Important aspects of a 50-year-old's life usually involve a comfortable chair with a footrest; playing with the grandchildren; and maybe, for recreation, a little golf on the weekend. For others, semi-retirement.
Jamie Moyer, it could be argued, is already in semi-retirement. He's a baseball pitcher who will turn 50 this November and he works only once every four or five days. Moyer, though, is a pitcher in the starting rotation of the Colorado Rockies and when he wins his first game of the 2012 season, he will become the oldest player to ever win a game in Major League Baseball history.
What the ageless wonder is even doing in a major league uniform is a question most baseball fans are asking. He was thought to be far too old for the professional game two years ago when, at 47, he hurt his elbow so badly it needed surgery.
Time to call it a career, right? Hardly. Moyer, about whom it's joked his fastball speed and his age are about the same number (his fastball actually hits about 80 mph), underwent Tommy John surgery, missing all of the 2011 season, and vowing to come back as a 49-year-old.
The Rockies invited him to camp and while somewhat of a novelty because of his age in spring training, he surprised almost everyone except himself by using his guile and pinpoint pitch placement to earn the No. 2 spot in the Rockies' rotation.
"I've learned to appreciate things a little bit more and understand things a little bit more without trying to get too sentimental or too deep into it," Moyer told MLB.com. "I'm just really appreciating the opportunity that I've been given."
Moyer lost his first two regular-season starts with the Rockies, but both outings were decent and there has been no indication the Rockies will send him to some 50-and-over slowpitch league anytime soon.
With 267 career wins, it's unlikely Moyer will threaten to win 300, the number which almost guarantees a player entry into the Baseball Hall of Fame. He'd need a couple of 17-win seasons to reach that hallowed number, which is unlikely, considering he's only topped that figure twice in his 25-year career.
On the other hand, what's to stop the ageless wonder from winning nine games a season for four more years and getting to 300 that way? After all, he'd only be 53.
Jim Caple of ESPN.com, on soft-tosser Jamie Moyer still pitching at age 49: "The scouts no longer point the radar gun at him; they just count "one-Mississippi, two-Mississippi . . ."
Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, affixing the blame for 49-year-old Jamie Moyer's 0-2 start with the Rockies: "The AARP magazine-cover jinx."
Norman Chad of the Washington Post, on 49-year-old Colorado pitcher Jamie Moyer: "In a world of Ferraris, Moyer is a horse-and-buggy; in a world of smartphones, he's a rotary dial.'
Chad again: "Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck threw 32 touchdown passes while maintaining a 3.5 GPA last season, but his football stats were goosed by playing Sacramento State and his academic stats were goosed by taking Introduction to Car Washing."
Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times: "At least six racehorses have been named after the Jets' new backup quarterback: Tebowing, Tebowmania, Tebow Go, Tebow Gator, Tebow Time and Tebows Big Play. And if they want to make them all run faster? Just name the next one Here Comes Manning."
Another one from Dickson: "Mike Tyson told a Detroit radio station, 'If I were president, I'd put Pacquiao and Mayweather in jail if they refuse to fight.' At least I think that's what he said. I briefly passed out while pondering 'President Tyson.'
David Letterman head writer Eric Stangel on Twitter: "Five runs (allowed) in three innings. Apparently "Yu Darvish" is Japanese for "A.J. Burnett."
R.J. Currie of sportsdeke.com: "The Toronto Triumph are one of four Lingerie Football teams that will compete in the new Canadian division. Toronto Triumph? There's two words that don't usually go together."
NBC's Jimmy Fallon, on the Mets' 4-0 start: "I don't want to say it's surprising, but today the Mets tested themselves for steroids."
Perry again: "The Yankees got off to an 0-3 start this season - their worst since 1998. Just for old times' sake, the ghost of George Steinbrenner tracked down the ghost of Billy Martin and fired him."
Celebration Church pastor Joe Champion, to AP, on why he invited Tim Tebow to address 15,000 worshippers on Easter Sunday: "In Christianity, it's the pope and Tebow right now. We didn't have enough room to handle the pope."
NBC's Jay Leno, with bad news for Tebow: "Now there's rumors that the church has been talking to Peyton Manning."
ABC's Jimmy Kimmel, on why he's happy for the start of baseball season: "I was getting sick of paying only $2 for a beer."
"When Gregg Williams eats a chocolate Easter bunny," tweeted Eric Stangel of the shamed ex-Saints defensive coordinator, "he goes for the head first, then the outside ACL."
