In the last month, I have been witness to some really unfortunate situations. In all honesty, they have been situations that have made me shake my head, have left me disappointed and have caused me to speak my mind on more than one occasion.
In the last month, I have seen people be intentionally hurtful to others and I have watched as others, on more than one occasion, have joined in in an attempt to be. . . "cool???"
Throughout my travels, I've seen it in workplaces, been witness to it at community gatherings and seen it at sporting events. I've seen a grown adult bully another grown adult and I've seen a teenager intentionally intimidate another teenager. I've seen a 20-ish-year-old say disheartening things targeting another in the room, more than loudly enough to cause hurt feelings.
It is everywhere and it is done by people of all ages. It is in every town and every city, every province and every country. It is done by the rich and the poor, grown adults and children, men and women and friends and enemies. And it is by no means OK.
Each and every time this has happened in the past month, I have been reminded of a book that I was recently told about. It's a book that everyone could take a lesson or two from and one which serves as a good reminder that each one of our actions has an impact.
Essentially, "Have You Filled A Bucket Today?" tells its readers how everyone carries around an invisible bucket that can be 'filled' or 'dipped' into by others. The bucket's fullness, which is a way for children to imagine their mental and emotional health, can be affected by other people. People can either add to the bucket by doing or saying nice things, or they can take away from the bucket by saying or doing hurtful things.
The message is quite simple and easy for any four or five-year-old to understand.
So what I don't understand, is how a 25-year-old or 40-year-old can't grasp the concept?
Each and every time this has happened in the past month, I have been amazed by the number of people that don't say anything. I have been amazed by the number of people that don't stand up for what is right.
Is it really that important to people to remain 'cool' in the eyes of a bully?
We all have a voice and it is each of our responsibilities to use it. It is our responsibility to stand up for someone who can't stand up for themselves and to stand up for what is right.
Anybody that has ever used that voice knows that you rarely have to use it more than once. The truth of the matter is, we allow people to act a certain way around us. If we allow for bullying to take place in front of us, we are allowing the cycle to continue. If we stand up for what is right and say something, we are stopping that cycle.
It is as simple and as matter-of-fact as that.
And if we could all be 'bucket fillers' just a little more, the community that we live in, the schools that we attend and the workplaces that we are employed at would all be just a little bit better of a place. The little things we say and do make differences in our lives and in the lives of others.
Regardless of whether you have read the book, we have all heard the message before. We all know what is right and what is wrong. There is no excuse. There is no excuse for a teenager and there is especially no excuse for a grown adult.
And it is up to the rest of society to hold these people accountable. It is up to the teenagers to put an end to bullying in their schools by using their voices and sticking up for what they believe. It is up to the 20-year-olds in the room to use their voice and put an end to the hurtful comments and intentional emotional abuse. And it is up to the rest of the crowd to make sure the 40-year-old knows that what he or she is doing is unacceptable.
Whether we like it or not and whether it is hard or easy, it is up to each and every one of us. And there is no better time to stop that cycle than now.
