According to veteran radio evangelist Harold Camping, the world is coming to an end this Saturday at noon, a half-hour later in Newfoundland.
That is the time Jesus is set to appear from stage right and send the world into a tizzy.
We're not sure whether Allah, Manitou or the other gods are showing up to put a finale to their end of the bargain too, but according to Camping, this time, this is it.
Why does he say this time?
Well, he made a similar prediction for September 6, 1994.
Well, Jesus was a no-show then (of course, I know, He's everywhere but you know what I mean) and I expect he'll cancel this Saturday's engagement too. Ticket sales are a bit slow. I just hope He gives us a heads-up on this, because I plan on planting about a dozen flowers in my back yard this Saturday and if this is going to be Armageddon time, I probably won't bother.
I don't know much about this Harold Camping guy, but he got a lot of media coverage back in 1994 and I guess his appeals for loose change were coming up a bit short this year, so he decided to call for another world-ending this spring just to spark some interest in the followers and drum up a few more dollars, I suspect.
Isn't there an app on our Blackberries or iPads and Pods to handle these people?
However, in the off chance that the Lord decides to pay me (and maybe you) a visit between now and Saturday morning to confirm that the world as we know it, is about to go kaput, I can think of all kinds of things I'd be doing Saturday morning other than planting daisies, especially if I'm gonna be pushing them up at noon (12:30 in Newfoundland).
I say, don't worry about it. I don't believe Mr. Camping has a direct line to the big guy. The Lord just doesn't respond to Harold's text messages, nor will I. And if I'm wrong, then what do I lose?
Sorry Mr. Camping. I think I'll make plans for Saturday and take my chances. I might even enjoy a little drinkie poo on the patio while waiting for the judgment hour. Talk about living on the edge!
Just to confirm that I believe the world is going to continue to spin on its axis next week, I went out and completed my Canadian census form, like the good guy that I am.
Of course I filled out the French language form, while noting in the spaces allocated that I spoke and understood English only. We'll let their computers work on that one for awhile and see what happens.
A little computer spittle never hurt anyone.
Actually, I didn't do that, but I sure was tempted. You see, for we Anglos, all ya gotta do is take the French form and follow the census survey map provided by the Anglais version. If I hadn't been in a hurry, I probably would have done it, just for a giggle.
Speaking of messing with authority, how about those evil, evil people who insisted on violating the Elections Act by actually texting our federal election results from Eastern Canada out to those in Western Canada before the Western Canadian polls closed.
Naturally millions of us changed our votes when we found out what was happening in the East ... unofficially of course.
What a bunch of silliness we put up with because bureaucrats don't trust the people they serve.
The penalty for texting or conveying the results earlier than 7:30 p.m. on election night is $25,000.
I'm willing to bet you there will be no charges laid, no fines paid and there was no harm done. Much to do about nothing on that file, me thinks. There are more important things out there, like figuring out what this Playstation fiasco was all about. Now that's important! We wait with bated breath for the resolution to that dilemma. Forget the end of the world on Saturday ... that Playstation thing better be sorted out before Friday! Somebody better sue somebody.
