This summer, I visited several countries in Europe and a few provinces in Canada. It was great! I came away with priceless memories, beautiful pictures, wonderful souvenirs — and bedbugs. Horrors. I also added to my compiled list of, “What Not to do While Travelling.” Lucky for you, I'm sharing.
One: I learned it isn't wise to launder your best walking shoes, to rid yourself of the aforementioned insects, in hot water, and dry them (the shoes, not the bugs) for an hour on high heat in a French clothes dryer that you don't understand. When the dryer door finally allowed me to gain access to my sad, shrunken shoes, they looked like something Santa's helpers might wear for a festive gathering at the Pole. Yup, elf shoes.
Two: While wearing floppy summer dresses due to the heat in Bruges, Belgium, it's wise to watch out for large air vents directly in front of store entrances. Unless, of course, your wish is to replay a significant Marilyn Monroe moment from 1955. If that's not your intention, and you're taken unawares, screaming bloody murder with your dress up around your ears will likely be your fate. It was mine. Final takeaway: beware of drafty grates and men hanging around these grates. Enough said.
Three: If you find yourself in Paris, France on Bastille Day, and if, after the festivities, about a million people are trying to cram themselves into the metro, beware of gropers. I was concerned about my daughter and kept her close behind me as we shuffled forward in the crush. At one point, I reached behind, grasped her hand, and squeezed.
"We'll get through this, honey," I said, running a motherly thumb over her palm.
"Mom," oddly enough, my daughter's sweet voice came at me from a different direction. "I'm over here."
"Then who am I holding onto?" I screeched! Dropping the hand, I craned my neck to see that I'd gripped the paw of some nameless young man. He grinned at me and shrugged. Yup, I was the groper of this tale.
Four: When considering an evening of fine dining, and a menu is displayed outside the door of the anticipated eatery, take a moment to peruse it before entering. Also, it's wise to check reviews. Will there be something on the menu that's worthy of consumption? Will you be paying for attentive service from a highly trained staff who serve junk? Or will you choose a restaurant that offers both service and a delicious meal? My friend Esther and I hurried into a lovely restaurant where wet towels were brought on a silver platter, a well-dressed waiter saw to our every need, and each ingredient of our dishes was detailed in a short, rehearsed speech. It all seemed fabulous, but the food was utter rubbish.
Furthermore, if you are planning to visit such a high-end establishment, it might behoove you to rip the tag from the back of your shirt. Particularly one that states you purchased the garment from Value Village for $5.99.
In actual fact, that last tidbit of info was meant for me rather than any of you.
Lessons to live by.
