With the new school year underway, it’s a good time to reflect on the critical relationship you and your child have with those responsible for their education: teachers.
As a parent, you want nothing but the best for your child. When it comes to academics, you know your child is a genius. You know they learn in their own unique way, which might mean not paying attention in class (because they find it boring and feel they already know the material), not doing homework (because they see it as a waste of time for the same reason), or even skipping class occasionally (for the reasons mentioned above).
So, it may come as a shock when your child’s grades don’t match your high expectations or when you receive a note from a teacher expressing concerns about their behaviour in school. You’ve asked your child about it, and they’ve assured you that the teacher is completely unreasonable and beyond hope.
What do you do?
The answer is simple, although not always easy: Regular open and honest communication with your child’s teachers is definitely the best policy.
While not every teacher your child will have will be excellent (some may be downright awful), the best way to help your child is by connecting with their teachers and treating them respectfully. (After all, they didn’t pursue this career for fame and fortune. They’re trying to do their best for your child.)
When there are problems, the first thing to remember is to not go into a meeting with a teacher in attack mode. Righteous anger and finger-pointing won’t go very far toward solving any problems.
Instead, expressing a desire to work together is a vital first step toward resolution.
Secondly, ask questions. Bring a list of topics to discuss so you can clarify the issues and understand the teacher’s specific concerns. It’s always better to have the facts rather than make assumptions.
Third, listen to what the teacher has to say without interrupting every few seconds with excuses or explanations for your child’s behaviour. You may not like or agree with everything the teacher says, but by listening, you can start to understand their perspective and get a better sense of what’s going on.
Fourth, even if you feel frustrated, don’t get into personality conflicts, lay blame or tell the teacher how to do their job. Focus on your child and their challenges. By working together, you can hopefully find resolutions.
Fifth, let the teacher know of any mitigating circumstances that may negatively impact your child’s behaviour (e.g. medical problems, a family crisis).
Lastly, even when you come up with solutions, consider volunteering in your child’s class or school. This might be just what you need to better understand your child, their teacher and your child’s educational experience.
And remember, while my advice deals with the relationship with your child’s teacher, these recommendations apply equally to your child. Respect and open and honest communication will go a long way toward solving problems and resolving conflict.
Faith Wood is a professional speaker, author, and certified professional behaviour analyst. Before her career in speaking and writing, she served in law enforcement, which gave her a unique perspective on human behaviour and motivations. Faith is also known for her work as a , with a focus on thrillers and suspense. Her background in law enforcement and understanding of human behaviour often play a significant role in her writing.
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