I read all of the pre-season MLB magazines and follow my peers, their viewpoints and predictions. A few of them might have had a three-martini lunch after picking the Brewers to win this division.
St Louis Cardinals - With two great starters in Carpenter and Wainwright, and enough experience behind them, they should win the pennant. The issue will be the bullpen, because the only thing scary about Ryan Franklin is his goatee. Kyle McClellan has decent stuff and Jason Motte adds depth.
Pujols will rip the league apart and has Matt Holliday and future all-star Colby Rasmus to carry the offence to make up for a light-hitting infield.
Catcher Yadier Molina is a terrific hitter with a howitzer for an arm.
Ninety wins will be enough in the NL Central.
Cincinnati Reds - two words - Aroldis Chapman. Add in three quality starters and studs like Votto and Bruce and you're looking at a contender.
Rolen drank deeply from the fountain of youth and Gomes found his power stroke. Phillips is a five-tool guy and they have a terrific catcher in Hernandez.
The sky is the limit here. Cuetto and Volquez both will win 20.
Chicago Cubs - Several key acquisitions will make the Cubs competitive and if Soriano can chip in another 25 home run season then the Cubs will have plenty of ammo.
Marlon Byrd and Tyler Colvin join Soriano, as the patrol team for the ivy-covered fence, meaning Cubs' fans are set for a good year.
Both corner infielders in Ramirez and Pena should hit 35 each as well.
Grabbing Garza from Tampa rounds out a good rotation and locking up closer Carlos Marmol was a great move. If Kerry Wood has anything left in the tank then flame throwing Jeff Samardzija won't be under any pressure, which is good because nobody can pronounce his name.
Milwaukee Brewers - Great outfield and a few hidden gems like third sacker McGehee whose numbers were a pleasant surprise. If Rickie Weeks duplicates his 2010 stats then I'll eat this laptop, but there is so much food spilled on it I won't mind.
Prince Fielder might eat his way out the league yet, and for a vegan he destroys cabbage patches quicker than he crushes fastballs. He's about to become a free agent, so look for him to rebound from an "off" year of only 32 dingers.
Greinke solidifies a staff that includes ex-Jay Shawn Marcum but Yovani Gallardo might be their best starter.
Canadian closer John Axford appears to be the real deal.
Pittsburgh Pirates -Dodger castoff James McDonald is the ace of a modest rotation that includes hard throwing Russ Ohlendorf. Maholm and Correia couldn't crack the league I'm preparing to play in this summer.
The bullpen has two strikeout machines in Hanrahan and Meek and the Pirates have a young catcher in Chris Snyder with an enormous upside and plenty of pop.
The biggest mistake the Yankees ever made, besides not drafting my son, was letting Jose Tabata get away. At 23 years old, this kid is going make his mark and will develop into a 20 home run, 40 stolen bases outfielder, who can chase down anything that Andrew McCutchen can't get to.
Houston Astros- As Bob Dylan would say "beyond here lies nothing." Houston has had a meltdown bigger than the one I had on New Year's Eve but at least I can still draw a crowd. Even their farm system sucks.
Aging Carlos Lee still limps around in left field and has had a nice career and Hunter Pence looks like a budding star.
Staff ace Wandy Rodriguez had a good 2010, but is two games under .500 for his career. The bullpen is full of Wal-mart "roll backs" including one-time Yankee prospect Mark Melancon who can't get anybody out on my Play Station video game or in real life. Closer Brandon Lyon has bounced around more than my ex-wife. The only upside is the beautiful Minute Maid Park - as long as you have vodka to go along with the orange juice.
Bet your pizza budget on the Cardinals and the Reds to contend, but the Cubs might surprise a few experts even if Canadian Ryan Dempster's fastball looks more and more like a change-up.If I lived in Houston I would move to Austin. By the end of 2011 Shawn Marcum's struggles will only make having a cold beer in the city of Milwaukee that much more inviting.
Still wondering why does this division have six teams and the AL West only four?
I have an idea, shut down the Astros and I'll meet you in an air conditioned Austin honky tonk to watch the Rangers on TV and they'll be down to five just like that.
