After the Cliff Lee bidding war, it turned out to be a pretty quiet off season. Detroit made a few moves and if Canadian slugger Justin Morneau can shake out the cobwebs from his last concussion the Twins will be in the mix. It occurred to me that after all those wooden spoons my mother cracked over my head may have limited my prose to a mere sports column when I could be writing cheesy fiction. I'm concussed.
1) Detroit Tigers -They have a strong rotation with Verlander and Max Scherzer leading the way. They also feature a deep bullpen with Valverde and two others who could fill his shoes. Grabbing Joaquin Benoit from Tampa was a good move because on any given pitch, Joel Zumaya's arm can explode like a roadside bomb.
Obtaining Victor Martinez solves the DH issue, but although he calls a good game, he throws like he's hooked to an IV machine.
The infield is stoked with MVP candidate Miguel Cabrera, but Inge is unpredictable and Guillen is aging.
The outfield will be improved now that Austin Jackson has a full season under his belt and Ordonez put together another solid offensive year. Thankfully Ordonez cut that wild hair. He was starting to make Troy Polamolu's hair look like your uncle's pathetic comb over.
2) Chicago White Sox - The best rotation in the division especially if Peavy regains his form. The pen is thin now that Bobbie Jenks has taken that ridiculous chin hair down the highway. New closer Matt Thornton has filthy stuff and the leftie throws 100 MPH keeping AL batters under .200 at the plate. Picking up Canuck Jesse Crain from the Twins was a good move if he stays healthy.
Konerko just refuses to get old and could hit 30 homers in his sleep. Adding Adam Dunn gives them a chance to rest Konerko and take some rips at DH. Shortstop Alexei Ramirez turned in a brilliant 21 homers, 77 RBI and .290 batting average and Gordon Beckham is going to be better than Aaron Hill.
The outfield is not deep but Carlos Quentin is a threat to win the home run title and Jays castoff Alex Rios settled into what I thought he would do - 15 to 20 homers and about a .285 average.
As much as I detest AJ Pierzinski, he'll give you double digits in homers and calls a great game. Mark Teahen gives them depth at several positions.
3) Minnesota Twins - Even Mauer can't carry the load. Morneau needs to be the player he can be when he's not concussed.
Delmon Young arrived in better shape and put together a decent 2010, but has been a huge disappointment after coming up as a super-prospect. Denard Span doesn't scare anyone with the bat, but can run some. Kubel and Cuddyer supply some pop in the lineup.
Matt Capps needs to hold down the closer role until Nathan returns. The rotation will grade above average if Carl Pavano re-signs.
As is the usual case, the Twins get by on solid fundamentals and good coaching. Unless Liriano and Nathan make it all the way back even third place will be bonus.
4) Cleveland Indians - The nightmare just never ends. Hafner and Sizemore remind me of Nicholson and Freeman in the movie The Bucket List - two guys who would like to go out in style, but they can't get off the stretcher.
When Fausto Carmona is your ace and the rest of the starters are faceless and unproven, it looks to be another long year.
It's time to deal Sizemore. If he does rebound, the Indians won't be able to afford him anyway.
Shin-Soo Choo is an above average player and youngster Michael Brantley has some speed but can't hit a lick, yet.
It's going to be ugly. The closer had an ERA of 3.66 and 23 saves.
First sacker Matt LaPorta has some power and will be counted on to produce.
5) Kansas City Royals - Losing Zach Greinke spells doom. Hochevar and Davies better win a dozen each or this team could lose over 100 games.
Alex Gordon has been moved to the outfield and I look for him to finally explode at the plate with a .300 average, 30 home runs and 100 RBI season, providing somebody can get on base. He'll be replaced with the next supposed Royal phenom in Mike Moustakas, but like most great prospects, he'll be held back until June or so to alter his future arbitration eligibility.
DH Billy Butler has had everyone waiting for a breakthrough season because 11 homers and a .279 average don't cut it.
The Royals can boast the league's finest closer, but Joakim Soria can't do it by himself. Closers don't matter much when you're always down by seven runs.
I've been in their park in July. The beer is the coldest on the planet-which is good news because it's 110 degrees in the bleachers. Maybe that's why my hamburger never got cold.
The Tigers and Chi-Sox will battle tooth and nail for the pennant and the Twins will continue to pack their lovely new park, for now.
If either Mauer or Morneau go down and the weather turns bad, they'll be more people drinking lattes in Stillwater than nestled into a ballpark full of bums. If I lived in Cleveland or Kansas City I would just move.
