Winning teams are most often described as having good chemistry and it's all about leadership from the top down. There might be a more dysfunctional MLB management group than the Toronto dolts, but I can't seem to think of one right now, however, they finally made one good move. Just two years too late.
The trade of Vernon Wells to the L.A. Angels frees up more than $18 million a year and ultimately, this would suggest that it then allows for a newfound cash flow to invest in your club. The high-rollers of the league that pour in hundreds of millions into a "luxury tax" to be distributed to third world teams like the Jays is supposed to accomplish the same thing.
First of all, nobody wants to play there in front of 9,000 fans who are as pissed at the $10 hot dogs as they are at the pathetic roster that crushes their spirit on a daily basis. Come on folks. At one point they had John McDonald in left field, who is a whiz with the glove at shortstop but comes up a tad short with the bat. His offence is so bad it's offensive.
At DH and first base will be Adam Lind, who resumes his futility hitting southpaws. He doesn't have a wealth of experience at first base so suffice to say they're good for allowing about one extra run per game. At least Overbay could field.
The Jays acquired aging slowpoke Juan Rivera who spent some time with my Yanks, but his best days are behind him. He might spend some time in left and come off the bench as a pinch hitter, but also could be trade bait if the Jays can find anyone dumb or desperate enough to take him. Given 300 at bats Rivera can still stroke 15 to 20 homers, but the DH position is getting crowded and his outfield range resembles a sumo wrestler in figure skates.
The biggest challenge ahead is to ascertain how much Bautista will drop off, because he will, and no matter how little you can get away with paying him. An incentive laden contract has suddenly become demeaning to these greed-heads even when their career numbers suggest their true worth. I'd offer him a three-year-deal, he's not a kid anymore, and shoot for about $15 to 18 million guaranteed. Ouch. Throw that much on top of the base salary if he hits 30 homers and drives in 100+ RBI.
Young chuckers like Romero, Cecil and Drabek will be looking for big loot if they continue to progress. If this miracle happens then look for next week's initial foray into my six-part Spring Training Preview to give the Jays about a 50/50 shot at overtaking Tampa Bay for third place in the division. Okay, how about 40/60?
You'd think there had been an outbreak of cholera in Tampa the way those clowns have dismantled that club. The fact that own about nine trillion top draft picks over the next couple of years means that in two or three years they'll be back in contention. By then David Price will want $20 million a year and the re-building never ends. Therein lies the biggest difference between clubs like Tampa and their sister club - the NL's Florida Marlins, and the Blue Jays. Every few years the retired guys in plaid pants in Florida have a prayer.
Toronto has no plans for a massive influx of dollars into developing young talent or bribing youthful free agent studs with promises of free love, kegs of beer and home care nurses who wield hypodermic needles like Harry Potter's wand. Does the Toronto brass not own any computers or ever cruise the Internet?
Cheap opportunities abound. I can't pirate a new movie or CD without getting hit on by thousands of "Russian women who prefer western men."
When I downloaded my last movie they sent me three free Russian super-models on a 30-day trail basis and life is really good. One cooks, one cleans and the other one researches and types these columns for me. Don't think I'm taking any shortcuts here. I still dictate the gist of the editorial
They'll be gone before ball season begins, but they've been good company.
My last gal couldn't put together full sentences either let alone flash a full set of ivories, so listening to some Baltic gibberish is painless. What is gonna hurt is the endless ridicule that I have planned for the Toronto franchise this season. These three beauties take my mind off losing my private nurse, who is sadly behind bars for giving me my last injection with a turkey baster to my temple. Perhaps she was a Toronto fan?
