I don鈥檛 see my uncles, aunts and cousins enough, and I feel bad about it. Last year I made a point of stopping to visit my cousin Mark in Calgary for a couple evenings, and while a benefit of that stop was, naturally, free lodging, I really did it because I hadn鈥檛 seen him in a while - the primary reason for a Calgary stop was to swing by and see them, whether I stayed at their place or didn鈥檛. By coincidence my uncle Wilfred and aunt Rosie were there too, as well as a couple smaller cousins and a couple used-to-be-smaller-but-now-are-all-grown-up cousins. That was even more incentive for the stop, and while the rest of the vacation was about me and my partner touring B.C., I enjoyed that time in Calgary, even if it was too rare that I actually went out of my way to do it.
I didn鈥檛 get to see everyone I know in the city while in Calgary, mostly due to some last minute forgetfulness, but still, I realized that I don鈥檛 make the effort to seek out my extended family enough, and I felt bad about it and wish I planned better.
And that brings me to my uncle Don. I didn鈥檛 actually see him very much, we鈥檙e probably both at fault there but he worked in the restaurant industry, not one known for giving you a ton of free time. My primary memory of him is actually the last time I really talked to him, at a family reunion, where we spent a lot of time talking after my Aunt Joannie made breakfast for everyone. It was a good conversation, and I had to admit I saw a lot of myself in Don.
After that, every time I went to Saskatoon, I thought to myself that I should visit. Every so often, I鈥檇 wonder if I should pick up the phone and call. And, then, I didn鈥檛. Whether I just ran out of time or had other plans, I just never made it out there. And I鈥檇 feel bad, even as I told myself that there would be another chance, it just didn鈥檛 happen.
And then I ran out of chances.
Whenever someone dies you hate the idea that you will never see them again. But it鈥檚 a worse feeling when you think about how you should have seen them more, and just didn鈥檛, for whatever reason you didn鈥檛 think to do it at the time, then time passed, and now you realize the chances are forever gone.
To be honest, it鈥檚 partially my personality, in spite of my job I鈥檓 really not that outgoing, and am quite prone to sitting at home when I have the opportunity.
Of course, right now we can鈥檛 really go on an extended tour of all the relatives, given that mobility is limited and face-to-face contact is naturally restricted. But I keep thinking I should actually plan for this now, to get out there once the world is back to normal.
This might make its way to my cousins, my uncles, my aunts. I鈥檓 sorry I haven鈥檛 called, I haven鈥檛 visited. I always mean to, I always say to myself that I will call you up or say hello, and it just doesn鈥檛 happen, and I feel bad. But I do care about all of you, and I wish I didn鈥檛 have those bad habits, and made the effort to see you. Though, that said, my mom has my number, hints and nudges all around.
To everyone else, don鈥檛 make that same mistake.
