Do you ever feel like you鈥檝e accomplished something SO GREAT that you鈥檇 like to celebrate it in some huge way but, in the scheme of life, you know it鈥檚 really so unimportant that it would be ridiculous to even acknowledge it?
Long ago I gave up the thought of looking beautiful in the state of which I was born. That ship has sailed. In fact, it鈥檚 lost at sea. I am now in a state in which I find contentment in appearing remotely passable IN clothing but even that, as of late, has become more of a challenge.
We haven鈥檛 been able to party in the past year so I did the next best thing and had a year-long 鈥減arty鈥� in my mouth, so to speak, and this has sadly caused only one pair of my summer pants to fit properly.
I do not enjoy shopping, on a good day, so I couldn鈥檛 have been more impressed, after filling up my cart, to learn that the change rooms were closed and I wouldn鈥檛 be allowed to try on even one pair of the things I so desperately needed.
鈥淎re you kidding me?鈥� I asked the innocent clerk. 鈥淲hat am I supposed to do? Change right here? In front of everyone?鈥�
She looked at me as though I was daft and said, 鈥淣o. You buy them 鈥� take them home 鈥� try them on there 鈥� and return what doesn鈥檛 fit you.鈥�
My jaw dropped at the absurdity of that directive.
鈥淪o 鈥︹�� I began, grasping to understand. 鈥淵ou鈥檇 rather I take twenty two pairs of pants out of this store, to my home which could be teaming with germs, Covid among them, and then bring back the twenty one that don鈥檛 fit? Does it not make more sense to simply wipe down a small cubicle between customers?鈥�
I wanted to ramble on, telling her that I feel my time is more valuable than that as well, but rules are rules and she didn鈥檛 make them. But - think about it! Max out the credit card, transport, try on, take back (because you know you鈥檒l have to!) and then wait in a long line with all the other saps who are returning their ill-fitting clothing? That did not sound like common sense to me.
So 鈥� I left them there. All twenty two.
This did not fix my no-pants dilemma, however, so at the next stores I first asked if I could try their clothing on. Four stores later I finally found one that would let me use their change room and, with no more time wasted, I tried on everything that held promise and was thankful to leave with two pairs for my effort.
Immediately upon exiting the store I reached to the skies and yelled 鈥淵ES!鈥� in celebration of my success. If anyone thought me crazy, my guess is they haven鈥檛 needed to shop for clothing recently. That, in itself, should be a HUGE cause for celebration!
听
