聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 I have been told that I have a slight (?) Norwegian accent. My first job in Canada was in sales, the sales manager鈥檚 name was Hugh. I have a very hard time pronouncing that name correctly. It comes out of my mouth as 鈥淵ou,鈥� unless I take a deep breath and say the name while I expel the air from of my lungs.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 My problem in pronouncing that name has created quite a few humorous situations. The following is part of a conversation that I had with a co-worker.
Me: 鈥淗i Bob.鈥�
Bob: 鈥淗ey man. How鈥檚 it going?鈥�
Me: 鈥淕reat, I just want to have a chat with Hugh (You).鈥�
Bob looking at me very strangely, saying: 鈥淗ey man, you are chatting with me.鈥�
Me: No Bob, I don鈥檛 want to chat with you, I want to have a chat with Hugh (You)!鈥�
Bob: 鈥淗uh?鈥�
Me: 鈥淵a, Hugh (You) mentioned something about a sales quota.鈥�
Bob: 鈥淥h! You mean Hugh.鈥�
Me: 鈥淵a, not you! Did you talk to Hugh (You)?鈥�
Bob: 鈥淵es I talked to him.鈥�
Me: 鈥淒id Hugh (You) say anything to you about the sales quota?鈥�
Then Bob couldn鈥檛 help himself, he had to imitate my accent, and in a sing song voice he said: 鈥淵a Yumpin Yimminy, Hugh (You) said that the quota is effective Yanuary first.鈥�
Then I moved from the west coast, and about 30 odd years went by before I met another Hugh. He also became my boss. Marion and I had sold our business in Edmonton, and Hugh was transferred from Calgary to our office as a branch. I thought that my accent had just about disappeared, but I would be proven wrong. One morning I was in a rush, and ran into another co-worker, and while I was passing him I said: 鈥淕ood morning Tom, excuse me but I need to speak to Hugh (You).鈥�
Tom looked at me and said: 鈥淥K, What鈥檚 on your mind?鈥�
Me: 鈥淪orry, I can鈥檛 tell you, it鈥檚 kinda personal and I need to speak with Hugh (You), not you.鈥�
Tom smiled and said: 鈥淥h! You mean Hugh.鈥�
Me: 鈥淥f course I mean Hugh (You), did you think I meant you?鈥�
After that little exchange, next time I talked to Tom and the new boss鈥� name was brought up by me, Tom would ask me if I meant the boss or him. That鈥檚 when I decided to change and use the boss鈥� Dutch last name, which I had no problem pronouncing correctly.
When our English teacher back in Norway was emphasising the correct pronunciation, he would refer to what he called the BBC English. My use of this BBC pronunciation with my Norwegian accent, has caused both confusion and laughter. I recall a time, before my farmer days, when one of my lower legs was sore, and as Marion and I were walking along, I tried to say to her that I had a sore calf. What Marion heard was that I had a sore cough.
鈥淲hat? You get a sore cough from walking?鈥� she inquired.
鈥淵es!鈥� I said. 鈥淪o maybe we should turn around and go home.鈥�
鈥淎re you getting a cold?鈥� she asked.
鈥淣o, I said. 鈥淚 just have a sore calf (cough). I should maybe put some ice on it.鈥�
Marion stopped and looked at me, and then she started to laugh, and said, 鈥渋t just dawned on me, you are talking about your calf (c忙lf).鈥�
鈥淥f course,鈥� I said smiling. 鈥淲hat did you think?鈥�
A few Norse English stories:
My friend Lars was in bad shape. He was always out of breath and his eyes bulged out.聽 He went to a quack doctor who told him that he didn鈥檛 have long to live. Lars decided to enjoy the time he had left, and splurged on a fashionable new suit, shirt and tie. The clerk suggested a size 16 collar, but Lars shook his head and said: 鈥淚 alvays vear a size 14, and dats vat I vant.鈥�
鈥淲ell,鈥� said the clerk, 鈥淚鈥檒l get you a size 14, but I must warn you, with a collar that small, it makes you short of breath and your eyes bulge out.鈥�
During the Rio de Janeiro summer Olympics, a young athlete in a warm-up suit was sitting alone on a bench in the infield. One of the officials walked up to him and asked, 鈥渁re you a pole vaulter?鈥� The athlete looked at the official and said, 鈥淣o, I鈥檓 Norvegian, but hov did you knov dat my name is Valter?鈥�
鈥淥ne ysed ta get different treatment from da dokter in da old days,鈥� complained Kari.
鈥淵a sure ya betcha!鈥� said Ingrid. 鈥淰en I vas jung, da dokter alvays toll me to take all my clodes off. Dese days I鈥檇 feel lukky if da dokter even ask me to stikk ut my tunge.鈥�
Ole the wimp got a very tiny cut on his finger and ran to the emergency. The nurse took some time, but finally located the tiny cut. She put a Band-aid on the finger and said to Ole: 鈥淕ood thing you got here as quick as you could.鈥�
鈥淥h? Vy is dat?鈥� asked Ole.聽 鈥淚f you would have waited until tomorrow, the cut would have healed.鈥�
In Edmonton, a little girl asked her Norwegian grandfather why he has three pair of glasses.
鈥淰el,鈥� said grandpa. 鈥淚 yse vun pair to reed a bukk, and anodder pair ven I need to see tings far avay.鈥�
鈥淲hat about the third pair?鈥� asked the little girl. 鈥淚 yse da turd pair ven I haff ta search for da odder two.鈥澛犅�
