If you are reading these words, you are witnessing history. For the first time ever, I will be writing about football.
Admittedly, I am disinclined to begin any type of discussion about football, as everybody knows more about it than I do. But I can tell stories. So without further adieu, here is the story of the curious aliens from outer space who landed in Mosaic stadium.
One day a family-sized sport utility flying saucer set its destination to earth. It arrived just over Regina, Saskatchewan, where it activated its invisibility shield.
"Mom, why are all those humans gathering in that coliseum?" Zoeken asked in his alien dialect.
"I'm not sure, Zoeken, lets get a little closer and find out!" Replied his mother.
So the saucer hovered closer to the stadium and the alien family looked down at the great crowd of people.
"They appear to be observing an important event," said the father alien. "Let's use our telescopic view mode to get a better look."
The father alien pushed a button on the dashboard and the bottom of the saucer became like a large magnifying glass.
Zoeken giggled. "Look! They've covered themselves in green war paint and are doing a mass tribal dance!"
"You appear to be correct, Zoeken," said the alien mother.
"Wait a minute, one of the humans has brought out some kind of pointed prolate spheroid device and is placing it in the centre of the arena," said the alien father.
Zoeken looked worried.
"I hope it's not nuclear! Maybe we should get out of here."
"Let's just wait another minute, Zoeken. I'm interested to see what happens next," said the father.
So they watched as the humans began their important ritual.
"Oh my! Look what they make their enslaved women do!" said the mother alien, pointing to the female humans who were bouncing around without proper protective clothing and waving shredded balls of plastic material. "How degrading!"
"Maybe they are there as bait for the large-headed monster wandering around," said Zoeken."What monster?" asked the father.
"That brown, fuzzy creature engulfing the human children with its big arms," said Zoeken.
"Oh my, it must be the result of a gene-splice experiment gone terribly wrong," said the mother. "I think it is time we left this place."
So the alien family left earth and returned to their home planet. Zoeken could not wait to get back and tell his friends about the strange things he saw on his intergalactic vacation.
