聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 It鈥檚 that time of the year again. In early November, I told my son Justin, 鈥渁bout 12months ago I gave a big sigh of relief, as the stress of Christmas was over for that year.鈥澛�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淪tress of Christmas you say?鈥� asked Justin.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淲ell of course!鈥� I replied. 鈥淲e work hard throughout the year, ramp it up towards the end of November, and follow through right up to Christmas! We buy all the presents and get them wrapped and placed under the Christmas tree! But that jolly fat guy with the white beard and red suit gets all the credit!
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淟et me tell you about Christmas when I was a young boy back in Norway,鈥� I said. 鈥淢y brothers and I were still in school, and we would make the presents for our parents at the woodworking shop with the help of our teacher. Mom and Dad would buy our presents at the store and wrap them, hide them in the storage closet and give them to Santa Claus, who would bring them into our living room and personally hand them out on Christmas Eve. We had to bow our heads, shake Santa鈥檚 hand and say 鈥榯hank you, Santa!鈥� I remember one year when your uncle Kjell and I had put cross-country skis on our wish lists.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淭he week before Christmas we ran to our mother and said: 鈥榃e鈥檝e got to get hold of Santa!鈥櫬�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥溾�榃hy is that?鈥� asked our mother.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥溾�榃e know we were not supposed to go in there, but we have to cancel our request for skis, because we just found two pairs of cross-country skis in the back corner of the storage room!鈥欌��
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 We were led to believe that the elves, Santa鈥檚 little helpers, who were not to be referred to as subordinate Clauses, had made our presents in Santa鈥檚 workshop on the North Pole. There was a time when one of the elves had gotten depressed and was sitting on a stool moping. He was considered to have very low elf esteem. Dad told us that Santa鈥檚 brother had crashed on the 小蓝视频 Pole, and he is deemed to be a lost Claus.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 My identical twin brother Kjell and I were also very much alike mentally and in the way we behaved, not like the twins in the following story. A farm family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. They were mentally opposite in every way. One was an eternal optimist, the other a doom-and-gloom pessimist.聽Just to see what would happen, on Christmas Day their father filled the pessimist鈥檚 room with every imaginable toy and game, whereas the optimist鈥檚 room was loaded with horse manure.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 That night the father passed by the pessimist鈥檚 room and found him sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly.聽鈥淲hy are you crying?鈥� the father asked.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淏ecause my friends will be jealous, I鈥檒l have to read all these instructions before I can do anything with this stuff, I鈥檒l constantly need batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken,鈥� answered his son the pessimist.聽Passing the optimist twin鈥檚 room, the father found him dancing for joy in the pile of manure.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淲hat are you so happy about?鈥� asked the father.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 To which his optimist son happily replied, 鈥淭here鈥檚 got to be a pony in here somewhere!鈥�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 My uncle phoned from the train station mid-afternoon on December 24 announcing that he and his wife would take a taxi to our house for a surprise visit and join us for the traditional Christmas Eve supper and Christmas celebration. My mother was an impeccable housekeeper, and she rushed around the house dusting and vacuuming. She put my father and older brother Moritz in charge of cleaning the bathroom, and Kjell and I were told to straighten up the spare bedroom. Just before my aunt and uncle arrived, Mother went to inspect our work. Kjell and I had done a great job with the bedroom, and passed with flying colours. She was surprised that the bathroom which was always very cluttered had been cleaned and tidied up so quickly, but then she saw my dad鈥檚 note pinned to the closed shower curtains that said, 鈥淭hank you for not looking behind these curtains!鈥澛�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Close to Christmas Eve, Dad would take us boys into the forest looking for a suitable Christmas tree. He called it 鈥淐hristmas chopping!鈥� One year it was snowing a bit as we were walking among the trees, and I stuck my tongue out trying to catch a snowflake. My dad saw what I was trying to do, smiled and said, 鈥淪on, never try to catch snowflakes with your tongue until you are sure that all the birds have migrated south for the winter!鈥澛犅犅犅�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Santa鈥檚 workshop was very lively as usual with all the elves buzzing around making presents and wrapping them.聽 One of the elves was dressed in a tight gold-trimmed white jumpsuit with a wide black belt and a high collar. He jumped up on the stage with his guitar and started singing Blue Suede Shoes. They called him Elfis!聽聽聽聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Everything was ready at the North Pole. The presents were all wrapped and loaded on the sleigh which was parked just outside the kitchen window. Mrs. Claus was busy in the kitchen preparing the big wind-up supper for Santa and all the elves when they heard a pitter patter outside.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淭hat noise I hear, is that rain or hail?鈥� asked Santa.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Mrs. Claus parted the kitchen window curtains, peered outside and said, 鈥淚t鈥檚 reindeer!鈥�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 We all know that Santa scoots around the world in the air on his magic sleigh pulled by reindeer. One year there were so many presents that Santa had no choice but to straddle the big sack full of gifts placed in the seat where he was supposed to sit. All the elves had gone back into the workshop to put away their tools, so there was nobody around when Santa gave the go command to the reindeer. The sleigh was heavy and the runners sat deep in the snow. It jerked as the reindeer lunged forward and Santa toppled off, ending up lying in the deep snow feeling totally elfless, until one of the elves heard him call out, rushed over and elfed him up (oh quit your groaning)!
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 It is supposed to be eight reindeer plus Rudolph, whereas in fact, and according to the song, there are a total of 10 reindeer. The tenth reindeer is called Olive and she was a kind of a bully.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 As the song says, 鈥淥live the other reindeer, used to laugh and call (Rudolph) names!鈥�
聽 聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Rudolph has a magic red bulb on the tip of his nose, which Santa uses as a guide zooming under the stars to steer the sled to where he wants to go. Before every Christmas season the bulb in Rudolph鈥檚 nose must be changed.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 And every year one of the elves will ask, 鈥淗ow many reindeer does it take to change Rudolph鈥檚 light bulb?鈥澛�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 The other elves always answer in unison, 鈥淓ight! One to change the lightbulb and seven to hold Rudolph down!鈥� and then they all laugh and laugh!
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Just before Christmas, Magnus, the famous Norwegian world chess champion and about 19 other chess fanatics were set up with 10 tables playing chess in the lobby of the Grand Hotel in Oslo, while loudly bragging about their prowess. Ole and Sven entered the hotel lobby.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淲ill you look at that!鈥� said Ole.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淲hat do you know,鈥� said Sven. 鈥淐hess nuts boasting in an open foyer!鈥�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Truls and Sigrun were walking down the street just before Christmas, and they saw a snowman and a snowwoman on a neighbour鈥檚 lawn, all dressed up in formal wear.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淚 wonder why they are dressed like that?鈥� said Sigrun.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淭hey鈥檙e probably going to the snowball!鈥� answered Truls.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Somebody told Karl that he didn鈥檛 have the spirit of Christmas, so he went to the liquor store to get some!聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 It was just before Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood when he asked Olaf, 鈥淲hat are you charged with?鈥澛�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淒oing my Christmas shopping early,鈥� answered Olaf.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淲ell, that鈥檚 usually no offence. This must be a mistake,鈥� said the judge. 鈥淗ow early were you doing your shopping anyway?鈥澛�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淏efore the store opened,鈥� said a subdued Olaf (still groaning, eh?).
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 When my children were growing up, we would take them to the mall so they could sit on Santa鈥檚 knee to tell him how good they had behaved through the year, and then tell Santa what they wanted for Christmas. The first couple of years the children would be very shy, and hardly say anything. Justin at one time told Santa that all he wanted was batteries, because he already had all the toys he wanted, but he needed batteries for them. This year I took our little granddaughter Casey to the mall and watched her climb up onto Santa鈥檚 lap. Santa smiled and asked her what her name is.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淚鈥檓 Casey!鈥� she replied.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淲hat would you like for Christmas, little Casey?鈥� asked Santa.聽
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Casey鈥檚 mouth dropped open. She shook her head in disbelief, gasped and said to Santa, 鈥淗uh! Didn鈥檛 you get my email?鈥�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 I found the following poem, Your Eggnog鈥檚 Too Strong,on the internet:
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淚f you see a fat man鈥�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淲ho鈥檚 jolly and cute,
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥渨earing a beard
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥渁nd a red flannel suit,
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥渁nd if he is chuckling
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥渁nd laughing away,
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥渨hile flying around
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥渋n a miniature sleigh
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥渨ith eight tiny reindeer
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥渢o pull him along,
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥渢hen let鈥檚 face it鈥�
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 鈥淵our eggnog鈥檚 too strong!鈥� (Author unknown)
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 I wish you all a very merry Christmas and a happy and prosperous New Year!
聽 聽 聽 聽 聽
