My first wife and I left Norway way back in 1968 to come to Canada. We settled for a while in Vancouver, where we found jobs and I worked hard trying to get a good command of the English language.
There was a large Asian population in Vancouver and BC鈥檚 lower mainland. Listening to the Asians speaking English did at times cause some confusion for me with respect to how to pronounce certain words. I鈥檒l let you in on a well-known secret, that when Norskies like myself initially tried to speak English, we used to have problems with properly enunciating 鈥渢鈥� and 鈥渉鈥� when they are close together. It usually came out like a 鈥渄.鈥� And of course we were confused with the letters 鈥渧鈥� and 鈥渨.鈥� That was a hard one because in the Norwegian language 鈥渨鈥� is not pronounced as a double 鈥渦,鈥� rather it is pronounced the same as a 鈥渧.鈥�
Like the young athlete sitting on a bench in the in-field during a track-and-field competition. An official walked up to him and asked, 鈥渁re you a pole-vaulter?鈥� 鈥淣o!鈥� he replied, 鈥淚鈥檓 Norvegian, but hov did you knov that my name was Valter?鈥�
鈥淒ra ditpepper鈥檔gror!鈥� is a saying in Norwegian which means 鈥済et lost鈥� but translates in English to 鈥済o to where they grow peppers!鈥� That is what my brothers told me after I had pranked them out in retaliation for the teasing they had subjected me to over the years. Of course I cannot tell my nieces and nephews that their father banned me from Norway, so it is still a secret, well sort of!
In Vancouver I realized that I had indeed arrived in one of the places on this earth where peppers are grown. Huge farms just outside Vancouver were run by Asian farmers who were growing peppers to beat the band!
Some Asian immigrants also have problems with pronunciation of the English language, so when I went to talk to one of the prosperous Asian dirt farmers about peppers, we spoke a new form of Engrish; eh, English. English is a second language for both of us, and due to our mutual accents it was much easier for us to understand each other.
I have experienced ignorant people where English was their mother tongue, and they did not speak another language. They would make fun of my accent and pretend that they did not understand what I was trying to say by shaking their head and walking away, but on with the story.
There I was speaking Norse-English with my strong accent, and the conversation went something like this:
Me in my sing-song accent: 鈥淗ov are yu?鈥� Looking around I said, 鈥淒is looks like a big farm!鈥�
Farmer: 鈥淵ou speak funny Engrish!聽 Where ah you flom?鈥�
Me: 鈥淚鈥檓 from Norvay! Is this part of Wancouwer?鈥�
Farmer: 鈥淣o, this is Sully! How can I help you?鈥�
Me: 鈥淎h, dis is Surrey!聽 Say, can yu please shov me hov to grov peppers?鈥�
Farmer: 鈥淵ou want to glow peppels? Why you want to glow peppels?鈥�
Me: 鈥淢y brothers told me to!鈥�
Farmer: 鈥淵ou blothels told you to?聽 Why you blothels told you to?鈥�
Me: 鈥淚t鈥檚 a long story!鈥� But can you please tell me hov to grov peppers?鈥�
Farmer: 鈥淲hy you not buy some peppels flom me?鈥�
Me: 鈥淥K. Hov much are dey?鈥�
Farmer: 鈥淭lee dolla a pound fo the gleen oh led ones, tax incruded!鈥�
Me: 鈥淒at鈥檚 too expensive! I vill not pay dat much for some silly green or red peppers!鈥�
Farmer: 鈥淥K, OK, I鈥檒l tlow in some callots as well! You like callots?鈥�
Me: 鈥淵a I like carrots, and I鈥檒l take de green peppers. But can you please tell me hov to grov peppers?鈥�
Farmer, bagging my purchase and taking my money: 鈥淵ou need gleen thumbs to glow peppels!鈥�
I looked as his hands, but he had rubber gloves on so I couldn鈥檛 tell if his thumbs were green or not.
Afterwards, whenever I came across people that had lush green gardens, I always looked to see if their thumbs were green, until it dawned on me that it was just an expression! Duh!
It has taken me almost 50 years, but I do think that I finally got a handle on the spoken English, without too much of an accent. Although I still have to stop for a mini second before talking about Vinnipeg or Wancouwer. My wife also tells me that my Norskie accent shines through when I get upset or excited. Oh well, I call that having character, but others might say, 鈥渨hat a character!鈥�
Ole and Sven were out deer hunting. Ole bagged a buck. After they dressed the deer and tagged it, they grabbed it by its hind legs and started dragging it through the woods back to the car. A game warden happened upon the pair, and after checking their tags and admiring the buck he told them that they were dragging the deer out all wrong.
By dragging it by the rear legs, the snow, leaves and dirt were getting caught by the animal鈥檚 fur, and the horns were getting all tangled in the brush. The warden suggested that they drag it by the front legs. They agreed to try it and much to their surprise; it was much easier dragging the deer by the front legs.
After a half hour of this Sven turned to Ole and said, "Boy dat game varden vas right, it sure is easier dragging de deer dis vay, but ya knov, ve are getting furder avay from de car."
